Happy Halloween!

We've had a great week! Thursday night was Parent/Teacher Conference from 3-9 pm. I met many sweet parents but was so tired by 9:00!

Friday, I took off from school and my husband and I went with Michael's class to Cumberland Caverns. We had such a good time. I didn't know how Michael would react to being in a cave but he said he loved it. After we got back from the cave, we rested up and went to Murfreesboro so we could make our semi-annual Sam's Club trip for toilet paper and paper towels!

Saturday started with haircuts for the guys, watching the Rally to Restore Sanity coverage then later on trick-or-treating. Michael and my niece Lucy went around the neighborhood together. Michael got into it more this year. He kept wanted to go to more houses. After three streets, he was ready to get home and see what he had gotten. Right now, I am watching the front door for little spooks. I don't like it when Halloween is on Sunday. I have not seen as many trick-or-treaters. I am wondering if they will come tomorrow. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

Tomorrow is church, getting groceries and more clothes washing and then Monday will be here again.

Hope all of you are enjoying this beautiful Halloween weekend!

P.S. Our bathroom is done and looks great!

Breathing

I just wanted to post that life is pretty good! The last post was a bit dark and depressing. My life is not all depression and sadness. There are lots of good times, too. I am thankful that Michael is having a GREAT school year, that our bathroom is almost finished and that I have a pretty good life. Things can always be so much worse!

Autism Is...

Autism is...Frustrating -I asked God once to help me to have patience. Boy, be careful what you pray for! That was years before Michael was born and have I learned patience. Autism is frustrating because there is NOTHING I can do! Nothing! The only thing I have figured out to do is raise money for research and awareness. Yes, I try to help with homework and plan for his future but there is no treatment, no medicine, no cause so I can't fight this. Of course, if it is frustrating for me, I cannot imagine how it feels to Michael. That brings me to another frustration; what is this child thinking?! Frustrating? How about driving through town with a three year old and he starts screaming, "Go that way!" at the top of his lungs? "That way" is a random street that has nothing that he would know. I have gotten back to my house many times in tears and with my hands shaking because I had no clue what he wanted. (I still don't because he can't tell me!) Wait four years to hear "Mama." Beg God on four Mother's Days for your child to say Mama and go to sleep each of those nights in a depression. Autism is frustrating.


Autism is...Fear - When Michael was six, he loved to run outside and swing on the swing set. That was great but he would pick a time I was in the bathroom and run outside. One time, I was in the bathroom, came out and he was gone. I ran around the house and saw him walking up the road. I asked him where he had been and he said, "Talk to the policeman." I looked down the street and saw a meter-reader. Can you imagine what could have happened? That night, we went to Wal-Mart and got alarms for all of the outside doors so we could hear if he slipped out. There is also fear in other areas. I am afraid to let him use a public bathroom by himself. When he was little, it is common for little boys to go in the women's bathroom. Now, he is almost as tall as me so he has to go in the men's bathroom. He cannot tell me much so I have to trust that there are no weirdos in there touching him. I fear for his future. My big depression hit when Michael was six. It hit me that I could never die. Who would take care of him when his dad and I died? Would I be able to find a facility to take him and care for him? Autism is fear.


Autism is...Hope - Now, this did not come overnight! This one took prayers from myself and my church family. I had no hope for many years but God has helped me to see that He has a plan for Michael. (I know this sounds weird to some of you and that it just sounds like empty words. I assure you that I mean this with all my heart and I am not crazy!) A few years ago, a co-worker told me about a school for autistic teenagers in Middle Tennessee. This school trains them in job and life skills. I also read about Vanderbilt University's college program for autistic young adults. Wow! Now, I had something to hang on to and I have hung on for my life! I started to see that he could have a job and could possibly live independently. Hope is truly a wonderful thing! Autism is hope.


Autism is....Lonely - My wonderful husband and I have had one night alone in eleven years and I am not kidding. My phone doesn't ring with friends wanting to go out to dinner or shopping. We do not get together with couples and let Michael play with their children. We go NOWHERE. It is difficult to go out in public when Michael's behavior is so unpredictable. If he is having a good day, we celebrate. Now, I will say that as he has gotten older, the meltdowns have lessened. When he was little, oh my goodness. Yes, I will say it: It was embarrassing. I know that sounds mean; "How can you say your child is embarrassing?" Because I'm embarrassed when he is making weird noises or flying his little cutouts around like an airplane and people are staring and wondering who the freaky people are. I'm sorry! I am only human. Autism is lonely.


Autism is...Love - Have a good relationship with your spouse? Having an autistic child will test that. My husband and I love each other now more that ever and I am grateful for that. There have been rough patches with this,though, because men and women react differently to the diagnosis. I knew something was wrong with Michael before my husband did and we have not talked about autism much since the diagnosis. That has been hard for me but that is how each of us cope. My husband is Michael's advocate and reads everything he can about autism but we just don't talk about it. Love is also shown from Michael. He is a very loving child to us and some of his teachers. I love my Michael smiles and hugs! Love is also shown through friends who have stood beside us through this. We have three friends who have always accepted Michael for who he is and just treat him like any other kid and that means everything to us. Autism is love.

Autism is...My Life - This is the way my life will be forever. I will have good and bad days. There will be challenges and cheers. I will fight until my last breath for my child and I will hope and pray for research to give us a cause and perhaps some treatments to make Michael's life better. Why me? Why not?! This is just the card I have been dealt so I will play it. Autism is my life.

The Bathroom Business

Yes, we have a bathroom problem! One cracked tile has turned into a bathroom renovation. Several weeks ago, my husband noticed a cracked tile on the bathroom floor. He didn't think too much about it until another one cracked. He started looking and found a hole. Unfortunately, the hole got bigger. We called in a coworker of mine to look at it and he found a much bigger hole underneath. Oh no! Since our house was built in the 60's and needs some updating anyway, we decided that since we had to put in a new floor, we might as well go for it and put in a new tub and new toilet then we decided, hey, why not put in a new backing for the tub and change out the sink and, what the heck, we'll put in new lighting over the mirror to replace the irritating florescent lighting we have now. So, today, we spent time at Lowes picking out all of this stuff to replace a broken floor tile! I think we will like the changes but I just hate that part of our fall break will be spent on that. Oh, well. It will be worth it in the long run. I will let you know how it goes.

Life Could Be A Whole Lot Worse!

What a great week! We have been enjoying homecoming at school and I love seeing the kids dress up for all of the days. We had camo/tie dye day, "tacky" day (dress tacky), decade day ( I chose the 90's with an original concert t-shirt from 1993 and my old Converse high-top shoes.) and today ended the week with red, white or blue. I love seeing the spirit of the kids and I like participating, too. I also had a great week with my students. It is so great to see kids come alive when you are teaching! We were all so engaged in the lesson and were learning so much from each other. It was just great!

This weekend, we are celebrating three birthdays: my sweet niece will be three, my sister will be older(!) and Michael will be eleven. I just cannot believe it! I about cried a little while ago when I hugged him goodnight. He is almost as tall as I am! We are having a small party but as long as Michael gets presents, he is happy. I will try and post more party details soon.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I hope you all can enjoy this gorgeous weather.

Adventure in the Big City!

What a week! I have had some interesting adventures. Have you ever read the story of the City Mouse and the County Mouse? Well, I was the country mouse in the big city this week! I was in Nashville Monday through Wednesday at a conference. This was a big deal for me for several reasons. First, I was excited about several of the sessions at the conference and second, I was very nervous about leaving Michael. I have only been away from him two nights since his birth almost eleven years ago and I was afraid it would affect his school work. Everything turned out great, though. I think I need to start at the beginning!

I have known about this convention since June but waited until August to get a hotel. I wanted to see how Michael was adjusting to school before I committed to spending the night away from him. If I needed to, I would have driven to Nashville every day. After school started and he was doing so well, I decided to stay in Nashville since the sessions would run so late into the afternoon. The problem was that most of the hotels were booked so I went with a good old Best Western that was close enough to the convention center that I could walk. This turned out to be a huge mistake! The first day of the conference was good except the driving into downtown in the morning. (How do people do that every day?!) Anyway, in the afternoon, it is time to leave the convention and check into my hotel. I just about died! First, those blasted downtown streets and their one-way signs! I went around the hotel three times before I figured out how to get into it! Then, there was no self parking so I get to deal with valet parking for the first time. (See! Country mouse!) I walk into the lobby and figure out that this hotel is OLD. That is no big deal but when I see the old elevator and my room, my heart sinks. How will I stay here for two nights? I decide to be a trooper and make the most of it. My good friends from school save me for the night and take me to Green Hills to eat at the Cheesecake Factory and then I do some shopping in Davis Kidd bookstore and wander around the mall. Around 9, we head back to our hotels. (They are staying at a nice one, by the way!) I get settled and into my pajamas when it occurs to me that my hotel door has no barrier to the outside. The hotel is older and all of the doors face outside. I am not usually a scared person but I'm sort of freaking out by the thought of it. (Too much watching Nashville news I guess!) At midnight, I slowly relax and snuggle into my sheets and I smell something. Great! What is that smell? Do I want to know? I finally get to sleep sometime after 1 am. I wake one other time in the night when a door slams and am up for good at 4 am. Yep, three hours of sleep! I surf the Internet and watch TV and make a plan to go next door to the Sheraton where some friends from the conference are staying. At 6:30 am I am dressed, packed and standing in the lobby checking out! I go over to the Sheraton and find out they do have a room and about cry with happiness! My friends and I go to the conference and have a wonderful day. We walk back to the Sheraton and after I check in, I haul all of my stuff into a large room with the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on! I open the curtains and there is a beautiful view of the Nashville skyline. Awwww! I get my stuff settled, call my sister who lives in Nashville and drive over to see her new condo and head out to eat with her and my niece at Charley's. We have a great night and I head back to the hotel for some much needed sleep. The next day, I attend the final session and head back home to see my two guys. Whew!

It was an interesting experience for this country girl. I am glad for the opportunity to attend the convention and I am grateful to have a supportive husband who said to go for it. As for this weekend, this country girl is staying close to home!

Quiet Times

We are enjoying a quiet Saturday. Michael and I loved having Fair Day away from school. The fair had its ups and downs this year. The up was when my niece Lucy won the 30-36 months division of the baby show! She did great! The down was our 30 minutes at the fair with Michael. He did the bungee jump and went through the fun house and was done with rides. The rest of our time was spent trying to explain why we were not going to try and win one of the huge stuffed characters at the dart throwing game. The guy working the game was kind enough to tell us that a) no, we could not buy it outright and b) it would take 16 popped balloons to win the big prize. At $5 for three darts, it would have been insane to try but Michael just could not understand why we didn't play. He is satisfied now because I came home and ordered a smaller version on Ebay. I just hate trying to get things through his head sometimes! I know it is not the autism; all kids think they can win the big prize. We are finally getting through his head that the claw machines at Wal-Mart are a rip-off. Oh, well. At least I did get a fair cheeseburger! The funnel cake will have to wait for next year, I guess.
Everyone enjoy the rest of your weekend. For us, fall break is just around the corner! Yea!