It's An Autism Kind of Day

We have enjoyed some nice weather and celebrated Michael's 12th birthday. He is still doing well in school and my school is going ok so why am I in such a mood? I am thinking too much, I guess. When you have an autistic child, it is like being on a rollercoaster. You have ups and downs, celebrations and melt-downs. Today, after a conversation with a coworker, I just about cried-yes, literally. I hate to admit that I am jealous but God knows my heart and I am. I get so jealous of parents who get to go to a restaurant and eat or have a weekend alone. My husband and I have had ONE night alone in twelve years. We go out to eat aboout twice a year. I do get some "me" time when I walk around our neighborhood or get a manicure every once in a while. My poor husband doesn't get much, either. I guess the thing that cripples me sometimes it that I never see it ending. I am assuming that this will be our life until we die and that gets me sometimes. (No, I am not exaggerating. Until we die.) Oh, and that brings up my other middle-of-the-night nightmare: What happens when we die? Will someone help take care of him? Will some freaky person take advantage of him? Will he ever have a friend, someone who he can be close to? Yes, life could be worse, I know that. I have a son and husband who love me, a stable job and a comfortable home. My sister has helped some lately so that we could go to a concert and out to eat and that was really nice. I guess there might be a little light after all. I assume nobody reads this but in case somebody is reading this: Sorry to be negative. I know I have written similar things before but this blog is titled PDD-NOS Lifestyle and this is my life right now. Thankfully, tomorrow is another day.

An Eventful Week

I have attended a celebration, a graduation and a kick-off in the last two days. On Friday, we attended the Fifth Grade Celebration at Michael's school. I was so proud of him. I know it was hard for him to stand still while the class sang several songs but he was a trooper. I cannot believe he will be leaving elementary school! I am just so proud of how much he has accomplished. When he was in kindergarten, I sobbed at his graduation because I truly had no hope for him. It broke my heart that he was "different" from the other kids and I was so jealous of the parents with "normal" kids and angry that they didn't know how lucky they had it. Yes, it was a big pity-party. God and time has helped me see there is hope and that I have to take things one day at a time and celebrate all of the accomplishments along the way. We have been so blessed to have good teachers and loving, wonderful assistants for Michael. They feel like family.

Last night was the high school graduation. It was bitter-sweet for me. I am so proud of my students and am excited about their future. I wish them all the success in the world, happiness and joy.

Today, I drove to Nashville and attended the Autism Speaks Walk Kick-Off Event at Granny White Park. (Side note: Oh my goodness! Those houses in Brentwood! Mercy, I wonder who lives in those mansions?!) Anyway, it was a beautiful day. Team M&M took two baskets for the silent auction.

This one was our 4th of July Picnic Basket.


This one was our Vols Basket.


I wish I could say we made lots of money but we didn't. There weren't many people at the Kick-Off so there were not many bidders. We made $40 for the Vols basket and $30 for the 4th of July basket. All of the money goes to Team M&M so it's all good. The Kick-Off was really inspiring and it got me fired up for the walk in September.




One of the highlights for me was receiving two awards. The first was for me. :) Everyone who raises over $1,000 is in the Grand Club. I received a pin and a plaque. Team M&M received an award for being one of the top teams in the state. Out of 250 teams in the state, we were in the top 10 last year. Whoo hoo! We have a great start this year so I hope we beat our record this year. This year's walk in 9-10-11 (I love that date!) and we are already doing well. I am trying to use yard sales and other events to raise money so I don't have to lean on the very generous people who have supported us the last four years.

After stopping by Chick-fil-a for us and Jack-in-the-Box for Michael, I headed home. I am now sitting and being lazy. After an eventful two days, I think I deserve it!

Enjoy the beautiful weather and the rest of the weekend.

Go Team!

What a week! Even though I have been fighting a cold (and now a sinus infection), this has been a great week for Team M&M. Let me explain: Last fall, a coworker and I were talking about how to raise awareness during April for Autism Awareness Month. I also asked if her class would consider baking cupcakes for Team M&M since her class has baked for other charities in the past. She immediately said yes. Fast-forward to this week. Her wonderful students and assistants baked and decorated some fabulous cupcakes from scratch. (I told her I had never baked anything from scratch. I always depend on Duncan Hines!) I also had a class that helped with the baking and I am so proud of them. Lots of my students volunteered to make signs and go around during lunch selling. At the end of three days, we had sold $309.50 worth of cupcakes! Amazing!

Also, at last year's walk, my sisters and cousin suggested that we have a yard sale to raise money for this year's walk. We had that yard sale yesterday and today and raised $431! I am so excited! The walk is not until September so we have lots of time but it was so nice to tie these events in with Autism Awareness Month. I know at school, many of our students learned so much about autism and came away with a greater understanding of students that might be different. I truly appreciate all of the effort that went into these events by my family, coworker, students and assistants.

Last, tomorrow is Easter. I have a song that keeps running through my head with the lyrics: "He is risen! He is risen! And He reigns forevermore!" All I can add is "Amen!" Everyone have a wonderful Easter.

Too Many

I helped out at the Autism Support Group's booth at the mall's health fair today. We handed out information about autism and also about the support group. What amazed and saddened me was the number of family members who came by and said they had a relative with autism. It just broke my heart to meet the mother of a beautiful little boy. She looked so sad and overwhelmed. I told her to hold on, that it would get better. I believe it will for her but it is hard to see when you are first walking that walk. I still have awful days. I hope the relatives come to the meetings. It helps to meet others who have lived through the tough times. It is also good to hear the successes and think that your child might have those same break-throughs. If you know someone who would like to attend, we meet September - April on the last Monday of the month at the high school. The time is 4:30 (pizza and visiting) and 5:00 is the meeting. Childcare is available but you need to call the special education office at the central office to let them know so they can have enough assistants there. Please send a message if you need more information.

The rest of the day has been laid back: downloading some walking music for my Mp3, watching Pride and Prejudice AGAIN, and just hanging out with my guys. The weather is beatiful so my butt needs to get to walking!

Sunday looks like it will be a good day, too. Enjoy it!

April is Autism Awareness Month

1 in 110 children...

1 in 70 boys...

An increase of 600% in the last 20 years...

Every month is Autism Awareness Month for so many people in the world. Pray that a cause and a cure are found. I love my smart, artistic, sweet boy who happens to have PDD-NOS/Autism and I love my friends and family who love and support him. God bless all of you.

Things Are Brighter

We started back to school today after an up and down Spring Break. Michael was sick this weekend but feels better now. He did the sweetest thing after we got home today. I told him in the car that my head was hurting and he touched my head and said, "Oh, your head's hurting." I told him yes but I'm OK. We got home and he walked straight to the medicine cabinet, grabbed a bottle of Advil and after getting help with the child lock, he handed me a pill. I hugged him and said thank you. He said, "I'm the hero!" I said yes you are. I feel bad when I whine and complain. Like I said, Michael is great-awesome. He tries so hard and is so loving and considerate. I need to keep working on patience. One day at a time! I hope all of you have a great week.

Tuesday's Reminder

Michael and I had some adventures Tuesday and these reminded me of how far he has come and how far we have to go. Running or wandering is a behavior of some autistic kids. I didn't know Michael was autistic when he would do this. Between the ages of three and six, he would be standing one minute and then dart off the next. He was so small and quick that I would panic and try to get him. I held his hand going into Walmart until he was nine because I was afraid he would run. (I won't bore you with the details of his running adventures of the past because that was a nightmare part of our journey and I want to forget it. It was hell, pure and simple.) Since then, he hasn't attempted to run away so I had thought that stage was over. Anyway, yesterday we went to visit my grandmother and Michael has not been there in years. I pulled in the driveway, we got out, I went to the house and he went the opposite direction. He went to the front yard, to the back, toward the street and up a neighbor's front porch and knocked on the door. All of this took two minutes. Now, why is this bad? He is eleven years old, he looks fairly "normal," he is almost as tall as me and would have freaked out anyone who answered the door because he cannot have a "normal" conversation. (I will let you imagine what a stranger could do to him.) I finally got him into my grandmother's house, we visited a few minutes then left.

*

We got home, I got out of the car and he took off around the house. There is a river behind our house that he hasn't bothered with in years. Monday he went to the river and there he went yesterday. Monday he was careful and tiptoed into the water about ankle deep. (Mind you, the water has boaters and gets deeper quickly.) There is a big tree branch in the water and he was fooling with it. There is also a very small rotten dock. He inched to the tree branches then got out and tried the dock. He said, "Let's jump in!" I coaxed him down. Why am I worried? Several reasons: I cannot swim. If he got tangled in the tree and whatever is in the river, I can't get him out. Also, he has little fear. He finally came toward the house because he slipped and fell on the rocks and hurt his knee. The frustrating thing is that he is doing what most normal eleven year old boys would want to do and I want him to be able to do it. It makes me want to scream! I thought yesterday that summer vacation is going to be a nightmare. What a way to look at time off. We probably won't go to the beach this summer. We're redoing another bathroom and between the money and time, I don't think I can make plans. I am afraid to take him to the public pool because of past behavior. (Adults as well as his.) I would give anything to have a pool of our own but it is impossible with our yard. (Too uneven.) I hate to whine because most days are fine but I would like to have ONE DAY where I don't have to worry. I will only get it when I die and that is not an exaggeration. I'm sorry but that's depressing.

*

I am trying to think of how to salvage summer vacation. I went so far as to see if there are any houses with pools that I can rent this summer here in town. Yes, pathetic. We haven't been to Manchester's outdoor pool. At least if the stangers there make fun of him or give him looks, I don't have to worry about seeing them again. Several well meaning teachers and adults have told me to get him out more, let him join a team. In the dreamland they live in, coaches want to play all kids and no one cares about winning. Also in this imaginary world, all adults and children are caring and mean well. In my real world, some family members look the other way instead of offering to help; some teachers blame us for Michael's odd behavior instead of realizing he has a disorder that none of us can help. Oh, and in even better news, the two girls who watch Michael so I can attend church are leaving for college so my spirtual growth and what keeps me going will be denied. Is God here with me? Of course. But it is nice to be able to meet with other believers. It will all work out. I would say I'm sorry for the rant but that is my life. Could it be worse? Yes, for sure. The one or two people who will read this, thank you for letting me vent. I love my family and especially my son. He does the best he can do so I don't blame him. It just gets hard sometimes.

Peaceful Days

We have had several good days as a family. I will say that Christmas Eve was a long night! Michael was excited, of course, and waiting for Santa. He got into bed and finally settled down around 10:30. He slept around 15 minutes and was up until 1 AM! He kept jumping out of bed and saying he wanted to surprise Santa. "I'll just sneak in there and see him" he kept saying. Finally, he was out and "Santa" left the presents you see above. We had a good Christmas morning. (I love my new camera. I needed a new one.) As an extra special treat, my wonderful husband cooked a huge breakfast for us: minute steak, bacon, eggs, biscuits and gravy. No wonder my clothes are tight! Also, didn't the snow make Christmas morning even better? Christmas night, I left the guys at home and went to my Grandmother's house for Christmas. More great food and good conversation. I was terrified to drive home in the snow but made it just fine. Overall, a wonderful Christmas day.

Monday, we went to a new doctor for a consultation. I was asking Michael's pediatrician some questions about autism and he recommended a pediatric neurologist to us in Murfreesboro. Since we have come to a dead-end at Vanderbilt, we decided to try the new guy. We liked him a lot. He is very knowledgeable about autism and we are glad we have a contact if we ever need to try medicine again. (No, he can't help us. That's the frustrating thing about autism and I've said it on this blog many times: Until we find a cause, we have very few tools to fight it. Again, that's why I walk: research, research, research!) By the way, I was so proud of Michael at the doctor. He was very nervous but tried to answer the doctor's questions and was just a trooper. After we left the doctor, we went to Target and got Michael's favorite for lunch, Jack-in-the-Box. (Sadly, our favorite, The Outback, was not open yet!) We really had a good day together.

Today, I got my guys to help me move my desk and computer at school. My students are going to freak out when they walk in next week and my desk is on the opposite wall! That's alright; they need to stay on their toes! After that, we got some lunch at Sonic and have been very lazy the rest of the day.

Wow! Four days in a row of no complaining, no tension, no stress, no running places and no work. We could get used to this! I hope you are having peaceful days as well.

Christmas Eve Happiness

Michael stayed at the Christmas Eve service 45 minutes. You know, I'll take that! His talking was at a minimum and we only left because he got antsy and wanted to sit on the floor. On the way home, he asked, "Are you happiness?" (Usually he asks if I am happy.) I said yes are you happiness? He said, "Yes, it's Christmasness." Everything is just fine. We are going to bake cookies in a little while and wait for Santa. Also, I had better finish wrapping! I have never waited this late. Isn't it fun playing Santa? Also, won't it be nice if it is snowing in the morning?!

I look forward to staying in my pajamas in the morning, watching Michael open his presents and having a big breakfast with my guys.

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!

Pity Party

Here I sit. It is 8:05 am on Sunday morning. I want to be at church, which started five minutes ago but I can't. My sitter for Michael, who is wonderful, forgot to tell me she is out-of-state right now. I spent 25 minutes looking out of the kitchen window, waiting, waiting...I get to sing in our praise band at church and enjoy it so much. Do I sing that well? No! I just love the people in our band and they are tolerant enough to let me hang out with them. So, on the Sunday before Christmas, here I am, sitting on my bed, fighting back tears, and wondering why. Just why. I have never asked God why Michael has autism or why we as parents get to go on this bumpy ride. But I have asked God why He is making it so hard for me to worship with my church family. On the Sundays I don't sing, Michael goes with me. He has lasted anywhere from two minutes (yes, two) to almost forty-five minutes of the service. I would keep him longer but he talks pretty much non-stop. That is just a quirk of autism for some kids. He is usually saying random things like repeating Spongebob dialogue or his own ramblings about nothing and I don't want it to disturb the people around us so we leave. I know, whine, whine but most of the people I know get to go to church, go to a restaurant or anywhere without fear of their child having a melt-down or running. (Yes, I know toddlers do that but my child is eleven. By the time your children are eleven, they will be making friends, talking on the phone and planning a future, you know, normal things in childhood. My child is not doing any of those things.)

Sorry. I try to hold it together and most of the time, I am SO grateful for the progress. I AM grateful but I get selfish sometimes. I want to be able to go somewhere without worrying and that will NEVER happen. OK! Pity party (almost) over. Maybe I should just cry and get it over with. I have another chance to attend church this week. On Christmas Eve, our church is having two services-one at 5 pm and one at 11 pm. Surely I can get to one of those. I want to take Michael to the early service but we will see.

Yeah, a good cry sounds pretty good right now. I will write a more positive post later but the name of this blog is PPD-Nos Lifestyle and this is just a small part of it.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

A Smokie Mountain Thanksgiving

Day One

Oh me! Last Tuesday, we headed out to Pigeon Forge for a mini-vacation. I had doubts about it because my husband and I have not been to the Smokies in fifteen years because it is just not our idea of a good time but my sister asked if we would like to go and we decided why not? Michael has never been and this would be a good time to take him. We left Tuesday afternoon and arrived at the cabin. It was clean and nice but a little small but that was no big deal. The minute we get in the door, Michael says, "Where is Michael's house?" I look around; his eyes are red and tears are starting. I tell him his house is where it has always been and that we are going to stay awhile. He is upset and I can't get out of him why he is so upset. (This is my first "I hate autism" moment of the trip.) We unpack the SUV and rest a minute. We are starving because we skipped lunch so we decide to grab something to eat. When "normal" families go on vacation, they plan great meals out. Us? No way! We drive through Burger King because Michael is OK with that. I am about in tears by this point because I am again slapped in the face by reality. We get back to the cabin and I am ready to eat. Yep, my food is not there! Now, I can sit here in the comfort of my house and laugh about it now but I was so upset! I thought, "I have four more days of this? Can I take it?" We ended the night on a good note by climbing in the hot tub. So relaxing and Michael loved it. We all finally relaxed and got some sleep.

Day Two

On Wednesday morning, I had the first cry I have had in a long time about Michael's autism. I thought I had gotten over the frustration and disappointment but I guess I was wrong. I told my husband that I just wanted to eat out one time while we were there and have a glass of tea in peace. I got the pity party over with and we went to get groceries and see how much Pigeon Forge had changed since out last visit. It turned out to be a very good day. We went to the Disney Story and let Michael get a few things then went to Kroger to get some groceries. Whew! It was crowded since it was the day before Thanksgiving. I will brag on Michael. He was very patient and good in both stores. We grabbed some Sonic and went back to the cabin. (Yes, I checked to see if my food was there before we left!) That afternoon, Michael learned to play pool from his dad and they played the old arcade games like Dig Dug and PacMan. It was so neat to see them interacting and hanging out. I still wanted my "tea and peace" so my husband asked what "would make me happy." I looked at all of the restaurant listings and we talked about several we might like. I asked Michael. "Hey, you ready to go out to eat?" His reply, "No! Happy smiles with no chicken!" (They are those potatoes shaped like smiley faces.) I said well, why not have that later? "No, happy smiles with no chicken, PLEASE!" The tears start. Crap. I get the happy smiles. Now, those of you who think I am just giving in do not have an autistic child! He calmed down and ate and I tried not to have a melt-down myself. My husband suggested that we try The Outback. Michael likes it and we know he can handle that. We wait awhile and then head to The Outback in Sevierville. Success! We have a great supper, go to The Dollar Store AND I finally get to see the Christmas lights. (By the way, they are pretty but who can tell with all of those big, flashing lights for the shows?) Anyway, we get back to the cabin and my sister and niece arrive. Yea! We are all finally here.

Day Three

Thursday, Thanksgiving day. What a beautiful day that was. Just gorgeous. We had breakfast and rested. Since my husband and Michael were happy staying in the cabin, the girls went to Gatlinburg to walk around and see if there were any stores open. We got so lucky. The streets were not crowded and we got a free parking place close to the street. We walked around and I found some toys for the kids and my sister got some candy and jam at The Chocolate Monkey. We just enjoyed the beautiful November day. It was really nice. We headed back into Pigeon Forge to go to Old Navy but dumb me had read the wrong time of their opening. They were opening at 7 pm not noon so we headed to the stores with the red roof. (I can't remember the name.) My sister got my niece some cute clothes so cheap! They had some great sales and again, it was not crowded. We headed back to the cabin for Thanksgiving lunch which my wonderful husband had cooked for us. It was so delicious! It was not traditional: He cooked chicken, fish and hamburgers on the grill. Oh, my! Just the smell was killing me! We hung out some more and I said, "Oh, I want to see the lights in Gatlinburg before we go back to Old Navy." Wrong idea! It seems that everybody was hiding when we went earlier that day! It was SO crowded! Bumper to bumper traffic and we wanted to be at Old Navy when it opened. We did manage to get to Old Navy at a little after 7 and wait in line to get in for I guess less than 15 minutes. I put my niece in a stroller and we power shopped! My sister went one way and I went the other. I got some great deals and so did she. The shocker was thirty minutes later when we saw the line to check out.

Look at the picture below. I took the picture where we were in line in the back of the store. You are seeing the front of the store and the man in green is in line as it winds its way toward the front again. I will give them credit. We had to wait maybe 10-15 minutes in line. After that, we headed back to the cabin.

Day Four

Friday, Black Friday. We had enough excitement at Old Navy so we hung out at the cabin that morning. Around 10, I went to a store with my sister and again got lucky. I got a parking place right in front of the store. (It is a little mall area off the main road.) We next went to the Hanes, Bali store and I got some stuff and we thought we'd see how crowded Tanger Outlet was. We started driving and the traffic got heavy the closer we got. It was finally at a stand still. It took me a mile of creeping along to realize that this WAS the line for the outlet! Oh, no! We were I guess five miles from the outlet. We got out of there and went back to the cabin. You can see below how we spent our time waiting for more shopping. (The weather was rainy and cold and the hot tub was so warm! We had a blast!) After supper, my wonderful husband agreed to stay with Michael and my niece while my sister and I went to Tanger Outlet at 8 pm. We thought that surely the crowds would be smaller. We were so right! I parked right in front of the Disney Store and we got some Christmas presents for the kids. We next parked right in front of Old Navy and my sister got a jogging outfit that they were out of the night before AND got it for 50% off! We then parked right in front of Coldwater Creek and just did some looking. So, the moral of the story is this: Unless you really want something in particular on Black Friday, don't go that morning. Go that night when they have had a chance to restock AND you still get the great prices. We decided to celebrate by stopping by Baskin Robbins on the way to the cabin. Overall, Black Friday was a great day for all of us.

Day Five

Saturday, time to go home. We had to be out by 10 am (9 am our time) so we packed up and headed out. Some reflections: I am blessed with a wonderful sister and niece. It was nice to spend some time with them. (Disclosure: I did learn that my sister is a saint because my niece can talk and at times it was just "Shhhh! Be quiet a minute!) :) I also was reminded that as far as Michael has come, we still have a long way to go and that "normal" is just a word. I learned that we should stick to the place that is perfect for us when we want to go somewhere: St. George Island, Florida. Last, I have always known I was married to a good man but I was reminded anew of how wonderful he truly is on this trip. What did I do to deserve him?!

Well, that is my Thanksgiving. It was a memorable one. Thanks for reading all of my ramblings.

Autism Is...

Autism is...Frustrating -I asked God once to help me to have patience. Boy, be careful what you pray for! That was years before Michael was born and have I learned patience. Autism is frustrating because there is NOTHING I can do! Nothing! The only thing I have figured out to do is raise money for research and awareness. Yes, I try to help with homework and plan for his future but there is no treatment, no medicine, no cause so I can't fight this. Of course, if it is frustrating for me, I cannot imagine how it feels to Michael. That brings me to another frustration; what is this child thinking?! Frustrating? How about driving through town with a three year old and he starts screaming, "Go that way!" at the top of his lungs? "That way" is a random street that has nothing that he would know. I have gotten back to my house many times in tears and with my hands shaking because I had no clue what he wanted. (I still don't because he can't tell me!) Wait four years to hear "Mama." Beg God on four Mother's Days for your child to say Mama and go to sleep each of those nights in a depression. Autism is frustrating.


Autism is...Fear - When Michael was six, he loved to run outside and swing on the swing set. That was great but he would pick a time I was in the bathroom and run outside. One time, I was in the bathroom, came out and he was gone. I ran around the house and saw him walking up the road. I asked him where he had been and he said, "Talk to the policeman." I looked down the street and saw a meter-reader. Can you imagine what could have happened? That night, we went to Wal-Mart and got alarms for all of the outside doors so we could hear if he slipped out. There is also fear in other areas. I am afraid to let him use a public bathroom by himself. When he was little, it is common for little boys to go in the women's bathroom. Now, he is almost as tall as me so he has to go in the men's bathroom. He cannot tell me much so I have to trust that there are no weirdos in there touching him. I fear for his future. My big depression hit when Michael was six. It hit me that I could never die. Who would take care of him when his dad and I died? Would I be able to find a facility to take him and care for him? Autism is fear.


Autism is...Hope - Now, this did not come overnight! This one took prayers from myself and my church family. I had no hope for many years but God has helped me to see that He has a plan for Michael. (I know this sounds weird to some of you and that it just sounds like empty words. I assure you that I mean this with all my heart and I am not crazy!) A few years ago, a co-worker told me about a school for autistic teenagers in Middle Tennessee. This school trains them in job and life skills. I also read about Vanderbilt University's college program for autistic young adults. Wow! Now, I had something to hang on to and I have hung on for my life! I started to see that he could have a job and could possibly live independently. Hope is truly a wonderful thing! Autism is hope.


Autism is....Lonely - My wonderful husband and I have had one night alone in eleven years and I am not kidding. My phone doesn't ring with friends wanting to go out to dinner or shopping. We do not get together with couples and let Michael play with their children. We go NOWHERE. It is difficult to go out in public when Michael's behavior is so unpredictable. If he is having a good day, we celebrate. Now, I will say that as he has gotten older, the meltdowns have lessened. When he was little, oh my goodness. Yes, I will say it: It was embarrassing. I know that sounds mean; "How can you say your child is embarrassing?" Because I'm embarrassed when he is making weird noises or flying his little cutouts around like an airplane and people are staring and wondering who the freaky people are. I'm sorry! I am only human. Autism is lonely.


Autism is...Love - Have a good relationship with your spouse? Having an autistic child will test that. My husband and I love each other now more that ever and I am grateful for that. There have been rough patches with this,though, because men and women react differently to the diagnosis. I knew something was wrong with Michael before my husband did and we have not talked about autism much since the diagnosis. That has been hard for me but that is how each of us cope. My husband is Michael's advocate and reads everything he can about autism but we just don't talk about it. Love is also shown from Michael. He is a very loving child to us and some of his teachers. I love my Michael smiles and hugs! Love is also shown through friends who have stood beside us through this. We have three friends who have always accepted Michael for who he is and just treat him like any other kid and that means everything to us. Autism is love.

Autism is...My Life - This is the way my life will be forever. I will have good and bad days. There will be challenges and cheers. I will fight until my last breath for my child and I will hope and pray for research to give us a cause and perhaps some treatments to make Michael's life better. Why me? Why not?! This is just the card I have been dealt so I will play it. Autism is my life.

We Walked The Walk!

Under a gorgeous sky, we gathered with thousands of others Saturday to fight for our children with autism. It was held at Bicenntenial Mall in Nashville.

Michael had a hard time and he went to the car after a little while. It was just too loud and too much stimulation. The rest of us walked, danced and laughed and just enjoyed the day. We raised $3,046! Isn't that incredible?! I am just so humbled and grateful to everyone who supported us. We more than doubled what we made last year and it goes to education and most importantly research to find out what is causing this nightmare. The statistics are now 1 in 110 children and 1 in 70 boys will develop autism. That is too many. We will walk next year and the next until we find a cause and more treatments to help our kids.

If you want to see more pictures, I have lots on my Facebook page. If you want to see them, just add me as a friend. (No, I am not begging for friends! I am just not putting lots of pictures of my husband, son and family for everyone in the world to see. At least on Facebook, I can pretty much control who sees them-I hope!)
Anyway, we are thankful that the rain held off and lots of money was raised. I will rest a few months and then we will get Team M&M into money-making form again!

Ready To Get Wet

This weekend is the autism walk in Nashville and there is a 60% chance of rain. We might be swimming instead of walking! The walk is at Bicentennial Mall this year. I have never been there so I am not sure what to expect. I am a little nervous because it is not fenced in. The last two years, it has been at the Nashville Speedway and our kids were safely fenced in. (The problem for me is that running is a common characteristic of autism. Michael is over that stage, thank goodness, but I remember how I was constantly on edge every time we went out in public. He was nine years old before I did not hold onto him going into Walmart.) I hope we have a good day. The rain is not big deal. What is the big deal about getting wet if we are raising money and awareness to help our children?! I do have to say that I am so proud of Team M&M. We have doubled what we raised last year thanks to some generous folks who have big hearts. If I can, I will post some pictures after we get back from the walk. Keep you fingers crossed that we have a break until the walk is over!

Team M&M Is Moving On Up!

Team M&M has $1,195.81 and more should be added any day now! Yea team! I am proud of our team. Right now, we have the 7th highest amount in the state of Tennessee! What I love about helping Autism Speaks is quite a bit of the money stays right here in Tennessee. I know that Vanderbilt just received a big grant. Another thing I like is the push for awareness.
As for the actual walk, the first one we attended was really hard for me. Right before the opening ceremony, I looked around and saw thousands of people and just started bawling. Why are all of these children affected? How wonderful that our children had thousands to come out and support them. I was just overwhelmed. The second year was much easier. The walks are nice because our children are "normal" on that day. Everybody understands when children start flapping their arms, making sounds or having a meltdown. We just look at each other and smile and it is so great that they get it! This will be our third walk and what a difference three years have made. Michael is doing so well in school. We are so proud. Yes, he is not where his "normal" or "typical" peers are but he is working toward it. There is hope and that is why we walk. We want every one of these parents to have hope for their children and we want our children to have a happy life.
The walk is September 11, 2010 in Nashville. I will keep you posted on Team M&M's progress.