Peaceful Days

We have had several good days as a family. I will say that Christmas Eve was a long night! Michael was excited, of course, and waiting for Santa. He got into bed and finally settled down around 10:30. He slept around 15 minutes and was up until 1 AM! He kept jumping out of bed and saying he wanted to surprise Santa. "I'll just sneak in there and see him" he kept saying. Finally, he was out and "Santa" left the presents you see above. We had a good Christmas morning. (I love my new camera. I needed a new one.) As an extra special treat, my wonderful husband cooked a huge breakfast for us: minute steak, bacon, eggs, biscuits and gravy. No wonder my clothes are tight! Also, didn't the snow make Christmas morning even better? Christmas night, I left the guys at home and went to my Grandmother's house for Christmas. More great food and good conversation. I was terrified to drive home in the snow but made it just fine. Overall, a wonderful Christmas day.

Monday, we went to a new doctor for a consultation. I was asking Michael's pediatrician some questions about autism and he recommended a pediatric neurologist to us in Murfreesboro. Since we have come to a dead-end at Vanderbilt, we decided to try the new guy. We liked him a lot. He is very knowledgeable about autism and we are glad we have a contact if we ever need to try medicine again. (No, he can't help us. That's the frustrating thing about autism and I've said it on this blog many times: Until we find a cause, we have very few tools to fight it. Again, that's why I walk: research, research, research!) By the way, I was so proud of Michael at the doctor. He was very nervous but tried to answer the doctor's questions and was just a trooper. After we left the doctor, we went to Target and got Michael's favorite for lunch, Jack-in-the-Box. (Sadly, our favorite, The Outback, was not open yet!) We really had a good day together.

Today, I got my guys to help me move my desk and computer at school. My students are going to freak out when they walk in next week and my desk is on the opposite wall! That's alright; they need to stay on their toes! After that, we got some lunch at Sonic and have been very lazy the rest of the day.

Wow! Four days in a row of no complaining, no tension, no stress, no running places and no work. We could get used to this! I hope you are having peaceful days as well.

Christmas Eve Happiness

Michael stayed at the Christmas Eve service 45 minutes. You know, I'll take that! His talking was at a minimum and we only left because he got antsy and wanted to sit on the floor. On the way home, he asked, "Are you happiness?" (Usually he asks if I am happy.) I said yes are you happiness? He said, "Yes, it's Christmasness." Everything is just fine. We are going to bake cookies in a little while and wait for Santa. Also, I had better finish wrapping! I have never waited this late. Isn't it fun playing Santa? Also, won't it be nice if it is snowing in the morning?!

I look forward to staying in my pajamas in the morning, watching Michael open his presents and having a big breakfast with my guys.

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!

Almost Christmas!

I am loving my time away from school. Michael and I are being lazy, staying in our pajamas and eating way too much but we're enjoying it! My husband told me that he didn't have much for me for Christmas but that we'd hit Murfreesboro for some after-Christmas shopping. I told him the truth; I really just want to spend time with my two guys. We will have the entire week after Christmas to spend together and I am looking forward to it. (Full disclosure: He asked what I wanted for Christmas and believe it or not, I really couldn't think of much-within reason! I did ask for a new camera since mine has about had it. What I would really love is a trip to the beach but that's not happening!) I don't need anything. I do hope that Michael likes what he is getting. He is counting down the days!

My fingers are crossed and God and I have talked about how much I really need to attend the Christmas Eve service at church. I am taking Michael and am hoping that he gets through the service without disturbing anyone or begging to leave. If he does, the world will not end but it would be a nice Christmas gift for me if I could sing along with some Christmas songs and focus with others about Christ's birth. Not much to ask for, I think. I will let you know how it goes-good or bad.

I hope all of you are getting to spend time with your family and are warm and happy.

One more day until Santa comes!

Meant to Be - Steven Curtis Chapman

Yesterday afternoon, I was feeling a little better and started watching a video countdown show of Christian videos that I had recorded. This song was in the Top 10. I started watching and felt a little better and then this song came on. I believe that God knew I needed my butt kicked for basically wallowing in self-pity. Michael is "wonderfully, perfectly" made, indeed! Listen to the lyrics and apply it to your kids. Oh, me! Get the tissues ready!

Pity Party

Here I sit. It is 8:05 am on Sunday morning. I want to be at church, which started five minutes ago but I can't. My sitter for Michael, who is wonderful, forgot to tell me she is out-of-state right now. I spent 25 minutes looking out of the kitchen window, waiting, waiting...I get to sing in our praise band at church and enjoy it so much. Do I sing that well? No! I just love the people in our band and they are tolerant enough to let me hang out with them. So, on the Sunday before Christmas, here I am, sitting on my bed, fighting back tears, and wondering why. Just why. I have never asked God why Michael has autism or why we as parents get to go on this bumpy ride. But I have asked God why He is making it so hard for me to worship with my church family. On the Sundays I don't sing, Michael goes with me. He has lasted anywhere from two minutes (yes, two) to almost forty-five minutes of the service. I would keep him longer but he talks pretty much non-stop. That is just a quirk of autism for some kids. He is usually saying random things like repeating Spongebob dialogue or his own ramblings about nothing and I don't want it to disturb the people around us so we leave. I know, whine, whine but most of the people I know get to go to church, go to a restaurant or anywhere without fear of their child having a melt-down or running. (Yes, I know toddlers do that but my child is eleven. By the time your children are eleven, they will be making friends, talking on the phone and planning a future, you know, normal things in childhood. My child is not doing any of those things.)

Sorry. I try to hold it together and most of the time, I am SO grateful for the progress. I AM grateful but I get selfish sometimes. I want to be able to go somewhere without worrying and that will NEVER happen. OK! Pity party (almost) over. Maybe I should just cry and get it over with. I have another chance to attend church this week. On Christmas Eve, our church is having two services-one at 5 pm and one at 11 pm. Surely I can get to one of those. I want to take Michael to the early service but we will see.

Yeah, a good cry sounds pretty good right now. I will write a more positive post later but the name of this blog is PPD-Nos Lifestyle and this is just a small part of it.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Snow Days!

What a surprise we've had the last few days. I can't remember getting out of school this much for snow in December. We usually get out for snow days in January and February (and sometimes March). Michael and I have been out of school since last Thursday because of his sinus infection and here we are on Wednesday of the next week because of snow. I love snow days but I hate to use them so soon in the school year. Oh, well! We are not in control, are we? I am just grateful that we are inside with too much food. I hated that my husband had to get out in it to go to work, though.

We had a nice "autism moment" yesterday. The mailman rang the doorbell with a package and Michael heard it. Yep, it was a package with one of his Christmas presents in it. I grabbed it and ran and he kept up with me. I hid it and he found it. I finally sat him down and told him that was for Christmas and he could have it Saturday when we go to Nana's. He calmly looked at me with tears in his eyes and said ok. That was really great that he kept his cool and made a rational decision. I was so proud of him. (In the past, he would have lost it and been uncontrollable.) Again, little things mean a lot.

We are waiting today to see if we get ice or freezing rain today. I hope not! I love electricity!

Everyone stay warm and safe.

Oooohhhh, It's Cold!

Oh, me, it is so cold outside! I hate the cold. My favorite time is fall when it is "just right." I bet I look silly going outside to turn on and turn off my Christmas lights. I run there and back like someone is after me! There is a chance of snow this weekend so it will make the cold worth it.

I am home today and tomorrow with a sick boy. Michael has been cranky at school, which is the usual sign he is getting sick. Sure enough, he had a fever last night and I took him to Murfreesboro to the doctor today: sinus and ear infection. The doctor said strep was possible but didn't check. He said the antibiotic was strong enough to knock out all three of them. Thank goodness he can finally take a pill because that liquid medicine is nasty. Bad luck with the first pill, though. He took it and almost immediately threw it up. I am sure it is because he hasn't eaten anything in 24 hours. Bless his heart! He is asleep now. Maybe I can coax him into eating something and trying again tonight.

The upside of being home Friday is getting a head start on laundry. I have an appointment for a much needed manicure Saturday morning. I am hoping she has time for a pedicure because my feet need some attention, too!

Stay warm and think snow!