Peaceful Days

We have had several good days as a family. I will say that Christmas Eve was a long night! Michael was excited, of course, and waiting for Santa. He got into bed and finally settled down around 10:30. He slept around 15 minutes and was up until 1 AM! He kept jumping out of bed and saying he wanted to surprise Santa. "I'll just sneak in there and see him" he kept saying. Finally, he was out and "Santa" left the presents you see above. We had a good Christmas morning. (I love my new camera. I needed a new one.) As an extra special treat, my wonderful husband cooked a huge breakfast for us: minute steak, bacon, eggs, biscuits and gravy. No wonder my clothes are tight! Also, didn't the snow make Christmas morning even better? Christmas night, I left the guys at home and went to my Grandmother's house for Christmas. More great food and good conversation. I was terrified to drive home in the snow but made it just fine. Overall, a wonderful Christmas day.

Monday, we went to a new doctor for a consultation. I was asking Michael's pediatrician some questions about autism and he recommended a pediatric neurologist to us in Murfreesboro. Since we have come to a dead-end at Vanderbilt, we decided to try the new guy. We liked him a lot. He is very knowledgeable about autism and we are glad we have a contact if we ever need to try medicine again. (No, he can't help us. That's the frustrating thing about autism and I've said it on this blog many times: Until we find a cause, we have very few tools to fight it. Again, that's why I walk: research, research, research!) By the way, I was so proud of Michael at the doctor. He was very nervous but tried to answer the doctor's questions and was just a trooper. After we left the doctor, we went to Target and got Michael's favorite for lunch, Jack-in-the-Box. (Sadly, our favorite, The Outback, was not open yet!) We really had a good day together.

Today, I got my guys to help me move my desk and computer at school. My students are going to freak out when they walk in next week and my desk is on the opposite wall! That's alright; they need to stay on their toes! After that, we got some lunch at Sonic and have been very lazy the rest of the day.

Wow! Four days in a row of no complaining, no tension, no stress, no running places and no work. We could get used to this! I hope you are having peaceful days as well.

Christmas Eve Happiness

Michael stayed at the Christmas Eve service 45 minutes. You know, I'll take that! His talking was at a minimum and we only left because he got antsy and wanted to sit on the floor. On the way home, he asked, "Are you happiness?" (Usually he asks if I am happy.) I said yes are you happiness? He said, "Yes, it's Christmasness." Everything is just fine. We are going to bake cookies in a little while and wait for Santa. Also, I had better finish wrapping! I have never waited this late. Isn't it fun playing Santa? Also, won't it be nice if it is snowing in the morning?!

I look forward to staying in my pajamas in the morning, watching Michael open his presents and having a big breakfast with my guys.

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!

Almost Christmas!

I am loving my time away from school. Michael and I are being lazy, staying in our pajamas and eating way too much but we're enjoying it! My husband told me that he didn't have much for me for Christmas but that we'd hit Murfreesboro for some after-Christmas shopping. I told him the truth; I really just want to spend time with my two guys. We will have the entire week after Christmas to spend together and I am looking forward to it. (Full disclosure: He asked what I wanted for Christmas and believe it or not, I really couldn't think of much-within reason! I did ask for a new camera since mine has about had it. What I would really love is a trip to the beach but that's not happening!) I don't need anything. I do hope that Michael likes what he is getting. He is counting down the days!

My fingers are crossed and God and I have talked about how much I really need to attend the Christmas Eve service at church. I am taking Michael and am hoping that he gets through the service without disturbing anyone or begging to leave. If he does, the world will not end but it would be a nice Christmas gift for me if I could sing along with some Christmas songs and focus with others about Christ's birth. Not much to ask for, I think. I will let you know how it goes-good or bad.

I hope all of you are getting to spend time with your family and are warm and happy.

One more day until Santa comes!

Meant to Be - Steven Curtis Chapman

Yesterday afternoon, I was feeling a little better and started watching a video countdown show of Christian videos that I had recorded. This song was in the Top 10. I started watching and felt a little better and then this song came on. I believe that God knew I needed my butt kicked for basically wallowing in self-pity. Michael is "wonderfully, perfectly" made, indeed! Listen to the lyrics and apply it to your kids. Oh, me! Get the tissues ready!

Pity Party

Here I sit. It is 8:05 am on Sunday morning. I want to be at church, which started five minutes ago but I can't. My sitter for Michael, who is wonderful, forgot to tell me she is out-of-state right now. I spent 25 minutes looking out of the kitchen window, waiting, waiting...I get to sing in our praise band at church and enjoy it so much. Do I sing that well? No! I just love the people in our band and they are tolerant enough to let me hang out with them. So, on the Sunday before Christmas, here I am, sitting on my bed, fighting back tears, and wondering why. Just why. I have never asked God why Michael has autism or why we as parents get to go on this bumpy ride. But I have asked God why He is making it so hard for me to worship with my church family. On the Sundays I don't sing, Michael goes with me. He has lasted anywhere from two minutes (yes, two) to almost forty-five minutes of the service. I would keep him longer but he talks pretty much non-stop. That is just a quirk of autism for some kids. He is usually saying random things like repeating Spongebob dialogue or his own ramblings about nothing and I don't want it to disturb the people around us so we leave. I know, whine, whine but most of the people I know get to go to church, go to a restaurant or anywhere without fear of their child having a melt-down or running. (Yes, I know toddlers do that but my child is eleven. By the time your children are eleven, they will be making friends, talking on the phone and planning a future, you know, normal things in childhood. My child is not doing any of those things.)

Sorry. I try to hold it together and most of the time, I am SO grateful for the progress. I AM grateful but I get selfish sometimes. I want to be able to go somewhere without worrying and that will NEVER happen. OK! Pity party (almost) over. Maybe I should just cry and get it over with. I have another chance to attend church this week. On Christmas Eve, our church is having two services-one at 5 pm and one at 11 pm. Surely I can get to one of those. I want to take Michael to the early service but we will see.

Yeah, a good cry sounds pretty good right now. I will write a more positive post later but the name of this blog is PPD-Nos Lifestyle and this is just a small part of it.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Snow Days!

What a surprise we've had the last few days. I can't remember getting out of school this much for snow in December. We usually get out for snow days in January and February (and sometimes March). Michael and I have been out of school since last Thursday because of his sinus infection and here we are on Wednesday of the next week because of snow. I love snow days but I hate to use them so soon in the school year. Oh, well! We are not in control, are we? I am just grateful that we are inside with too much food. I hated that my husband had to get out in it to go to work, though.

We had a nice "autism moment" yesterday. The mailman rang the doorbell with a package and Michael heard it. Yep, it was a package with one of his Christmas presents in it. I grabbed it and ran and he kept up with me. I hid it and he found it. I finally sat him down and told him that was for Christmas and he could have it Saturday when we go to Nana's. He calmly looked at me with tears in his eyes and said ok. That was really great that he kept his cool and made a rational decision. I was so proud of him. (In the past, he would have lost it and been uncontrollable.) Again, little things mean a lot.

We are waiting today to see if we get ice or freezing rain today. I hope not! I love electricity!

Everyone stay warm and safe.

Oooohhhh, It's Cold!

Oh, me, it is so cold outside! I hate the cold. My favorite time is fall when it is "just right." I bet I look silly going outside to turn on and turn off my Christmas lights. I run there and back like someone is after me! There is a chance of snow this weekend so it will make the cold worth it.

I am home today and tomorrow with a sick boy. Michael has been cranky at school, which is the usual sign he is getting sick. Sure enough, he had a fever last night and I took him to Murfreesboro to the doctor today: sinus and ear infection. The doctor said strep was possible but didn't check. He said the antibiotic was strong enough to knock out all three of them. Thank goodness he can finally take a pill because that liquid medicine is nasty. Bad luck with the first pill, though. He took it and almost immediately threw it up. I am sure it is because he hasn't eaten anything in 24 hours. Bless his heart! He is asleep now. Maybe I can coax him into eating something and trying again tonight.

The upside of being home Friday is getting a head start on laundry. I have an appointment for a much needed manicure Saturday morning. I am hoping she has time for a pedicure because my feet need some attention, too!

Stay warm and think snow!

A Smokie Mountain Thanksgiving

Day One

Oh me! Last Tuesday, we headed out to Pigeon Forge for a mini-vacation. I had doubts about it because my husband and I have not been to the Smokies in fifteen years because it is just not our idea of a good time but my sister asked if we would like to go and we decided why not? Michael has never been and this would be a good time to take him. We left Tuesday afternoon and arrived at the cabin. It was clean and nice but a little small but that was no big deal. The minute we get in the door, Michael says, "Where is Michael's house?" I look around; his eyes are red and tears are starting. I tell him his house is where it has always been and that we are going to stay awhile. He is upset and I can't get out of him why he is so upset. (This is my first "I hate autism" moment of the trip.) We unpack the SUV and rest a minute. We are starving because we skipped lunch so we decide to grab something to eat. When "normal" families go on vacation, they plan great meals out. Us? No way! We drive through Burger King because Michael is OK with that. I am about in tears by this point because I am again slapped in the face by reality. We get back to the cabin and I am ready to eat. Yep, my food is not there! Now, I can sit here in the comfort of my house and laugh about it now but I was so upset! I thought, "I have four more days of this? Can I take it?" We ended the night on a good note by climbing in the hot tub. So relaxing and Michael loved it. We all finally relaxed and got some sleep.

Day Two

On Wednesday morning, I had the first cry I have had in a long time about Michael's autism. I thought I had gotten over the frustration and disappointment but I guess I was wrong. I told my husband that I just wanted to eat out one time while we were there and have a glass of tea in peace. I got the pity party over with and we went to get groceries and see how much Pigeon Forge had changed since out last visit. It turned out to be a very good day. We went to the Disney Story and let Michael get a few things then went to Kroger to get some groceries. Whew! It was crowded since it was the day before Thanksgiving. I will brag on Michael. He was very patient and good in both stores. We grabbed some Sonic and went back to the cabin. (Yes, I checked to see if my food was there before we left!) That afternoon, Michael learned to play pool from his dad and they played the old arcade games like Dig Dug and PacMan. It was so neat to see them interacting and hanging out. I still wanted my "tea and peace" so my husband asked what "would make me happy." I looked at all of the restaurant listings and we talked about several we might like. I asked Michael. "Hey, you ready to go out to eat?" His reply, "No! Happy smiles with no chicken!" (They are those potatoes shaped like smiley faces.) I said well, why not have that later? "No, happy smiles with no chicken, PLEASE!" The tears start. Crap. I get the happy smiles. Now, those of you who think I am just giving in do not have an autistic child! He calmed down and ate and I tried not to have a melt-down myself. My husband suggested that we try The Outback. Michael likes it and we know he can handle that. We wait awhile and then head to The Outback in Sevierville. Success! We have a great supper, go to The Dollar Store AND I finally get to see the Christmas lights. (By the way, they are pretty but who can tell with all of those big, flashing lights for the shows?) Anyway, we get back to the cabin and my sister and niece arrive. Yea! We are all finally here.

Day Three

Thursday, Thanksgiving day. What a beautiful day that was. Just gorgeous. We had breakfast and rested. Since my husband and Michael were happy staying in the cabin, the girls went to Gatlinburg to walk around and see if there were any stores open. We got so lucky. The streets were not crowded and we got a free parking place close to the street. We walked around and I found some toys for the kids and my sister got some candy and jam at The Chocolate Monkey. We just enjoyed the beautiful November day. It was really nice. We headed back into Pigeon Forge to go to Old Navy but dumb me had read the wrong time of their opening. They were opening at 7 pm not noon so we headed to the stores with the red roof. (I can't remember the name.) My sister got my niece some cute clothes so cheap! They had some great sales and again, it was not crowded. We headed back to the cabin for Thanksgiving lunch which my wonderful husband had cooked for us. It was so delicious! It was not traditional: He cooked chicken, fish and hamburgers on the grill. Oh, my! Just the smell was killing me! We hung out some more and I said, "Oh, I want to see the lights in Gatlinburg before we go back to Old Navy." Wrong idea! It seems that everybody was hiding when we went earlier that day! It was SO crowded! Bumper to bumper traffic and we wanted to be at Old Navy when it opened. We did manage to get to Old Navy at a little after 7 and wait in line to get in for I guess less than 15 minutes. I put my niece in a stroller and we power shopped! My sister went one way and I went the other. I got some great deals and so did she. The shocker was thirty minutes later when we saw the line to check out.

Look at the picture below. I took the picture where we were in line in the back of the store. You are seeing the front of the store and the man in green is in line as it winds its way toward the front again. I will give them credit. We had to wait maybe 10-15 minutes in line. After that, we headed back to the cabin.

Day Four

Friday, Black Friday. We had enough excitement at Old Navy so we hung out at the cabin that morning. Around 10, I went to a store with my sister and again got lucky. I got a parking place right in front of the store. (It is a little mall area off the main road.) We next went to the Hanes, Bali store and I got some stuff and we thought we'd see how crowded Tanger Outlet was. We started driving and the traffic got heavy the closer we got. It was finally at a stand still. It took me a mile of creeping along to realize that this WAS the line for the outlet! Oh, no! We were I guess five miles from the outlet. We got out of there and went back to the cabin. You can see below how we spent our time waiting for more shopping. (The weather was rainy and cold and the hot tub was so warm! We had a blast!) After supper, my wonderful husband agreed to stay with Michael and my niece while my sister and I went to Tanger Outlet at 8 pm. We thought that surely the crowds would be smaller. We were so right! I parked right in front of the Disney Store and we got some Christmas presents for the kids. We next parked right in front of Old Navy and my sister got a jogging outfit that they were out of the night before AND got it for 50% off! We then parked right in front of Coldwater Creek and just did some looking. So, the moral of the story is this: Unless you really want something in particular on Black Friday, don't go that morning. Go that night when they have had a chance to restock AND you still get the great prices. We decided to celebrate by stopping by Baskin Robbins on the way to the cabin. Overall, Black Friday was a great day for all of us.

Day Five

Saturday, time to go home. We had to be out by 10 am (9 am our time) so we packed up and headed out. Some reflections: I am blessed with a wonderful sister and niece. It was nice to spend some time with them. (Disclosure: I did learn that my sister is a saint because my niece can talk and at times it was just "Shhhh! Be quiet a minute!) :) I also was reminded that as far as Michael has come, we still have a long way to go and that "normal" is just a word. I learned that we should stick to the place that is perfect for us when we want to go somewhere: St. George Island, Florida. Last, I have always known I was married to a good man but I was reminded anew of how wonderful he truly is on this trip. What did I do to deserve him?!

Well, that is my Thanksgiving. It was a memorable one. Thanks for reading all of my ramblings.

Oh, what a Thanksgiving week in the Smokies!

I do not have time to tell the entire tale but we spent Thanksgiving week in Pigeon Forge with my niece and sister. Check back soon for the details. I will just say that we will NEVER go there again during a holiday! Oh, my!

Thankful

Of course this is the week where many of us thank God for many things. I will do like many of you and list a few of the things I am grateful and thankful for in my life.

1. A husband who stands by me no matter what. He has stood beside me through the best and worst days of my life since I was fifteen years old and I cannot think of anyone I would rather walk through this crazy life with me.

2. Michael - I asked God for a son and He blessed me with an all-boy boy!

3. I am thankful for God blessing me and allowing me to LIVE. What a gift God has given us through his Son.

4. I am thankful to my church family especially our praise band which allows me to try and sing with them! They are such good friends and have been a great source of comfort for me.

5. I am grateful for friends but especially my friends Bobby, Ed and Brad. We don't see them much but I know they would be here if I ever needed them and I hope they know we will always be there for them.

6. I am grateful for family. Our family is not the mushy, lovey kind but that is OK. We are what we are! I am SO proud of my wonderful nieces. What sweet, smart and beautiful girls they are!

I am especially proud of my sisters who have overcome some major adversities and have triumphed over them.

7. I am thankful that Michael can talk and is becoming more independent. I hope and pray that he continues to improve so that he can have a job and live by himself some day.

8. I am thankful for the weather no matter what it is! I love our state because we get it all!

9. I am thankful for a job that allows us to be comfortable in a home with too much to eat. It breaks my heart to think of people who are homeless or hungry or in a horrible situation.

10. I am grateful that I live in this country as imperfect as is it. We live in the greatest country and have great people IF we could all learn to work together.

Well, there is more but I am sure you get my point. I truly hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, eat some good food and get some great deals on Black Friday!

Happy Thankgiving!

Oh, I love a royal wedding!

Oh, I love, love, LOVE a royal wedding! I am so excited about Prince William and Kate getting engaged. You would think I know them personally! I remember being 16 and getting up at 5 am to watch Lady Diana and Prince Charles get married. What is it about a royal wedding? I guess every girl wants a Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet. Wouldn't it be nice to be a princess and have servants and lots of money? Wouldn't it be nice if Prince Charming were real? Sadly, we have to live in the real world but I like visiting in the land of make-believe every once in a while! I hope William and Kate have a wonderful life. I hope Kate has been blessed to find a man who respects her and helps her like I have. My husband is no prince but darn it if he doesn't make me feel like a princess a whole lot! Oh, me. Time for the carriage to turn back into a pumpkin and for me to get back to work!

Beautiful November Day!

What a beautiful day! I love these days when it is in the 70's and the sun is shining. We got to sleep late this morning. (Late for us-7:30 am!) In the morning, my husband helped me put out Christmas lights on the outside bushes. Even though I won't turn them on until after Thanksgiving, I thought it would be better to put them out when it's warm instead of when it is freezing cold and my fingers are numb. Around noon, my niece and sister went with me to Big Lots and the consignment sale so I could try to find some Christmas gifts for Michael and I had success! Tonight, I am watching a show about the Christian band Third Day (Love them!) and just RELAXING! The laundry can wait!

I am getting excited about a trip we are taking to Pigeon Forge this month. My husband, Michael, my sister and niece are going with me. We have a cabin and I think it should be fun. Michael has never been to the Smokies and we haven't been in I bet 15 years. (I remember the last time; it was the weekend that Lady Diana was killed. Wow! That has been a long time!)

I think it should be pretty with the Christmas lights on. I am not much of a shopper but I think I better start to love it since there are so many good shopping places. I will give a full report about we get back.

One more week of school and then Thanksgiving break! Whoo hoo!

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Oh no! Not "The Change!"

Oh, I am too young for menopause! Actually, I guess I am experiencing perimenopause to be specific. It has snuck up on me, to be honest. The symptoms came on gradually. I am 45 so I expected it to happen but I didn't know when. It is hard to know what is hormonal or what is just a bad mood because I had a hystectomy several years ago so no more periods. (No, I haven't missed them!) Anyway, I still have ovaries so I still have monthly mood swings sometimes, no big deal. Well, in the last few months, I have been moody and just didn't feel normal. When I went to the doctor for my breast-lump scare, she asked me if I had any menopause symptoms and I said no. A few weeks later I had my first hot flash. Just great! Now I am officially old! I have only had two of those but I am sure they will get worse. (What is it like? I imagine it's like having a red-hot curling iron being shoved into your body. Really!) I think it has helped just knowing what is happening. It will freak you out until you figure out that you're not going crazy! Thank goodness I have an understanding and patient husband who is trying to help. When I get really moody, he is brave enough to remind me that it's hormonal. Bless his heart!

I think I need to consult some experts on this. You know, some women who have experienced it. Until then, I will try to be good and not drive my family or my students crazy! Wish me luck!

Happy Halloween!

We've had a great week! Thursday night was Parent/Teacher Conference from 3-9 pm. I met many sweet parents but was so tired by 9:00!

Friday, I took off from school and my husband and I went with Michael's class to Cumberland Caverns. We had such a good time. I didn't know how Michael would react to being in a cave but he said he loved it. After we got back from the cave, we rested up and went to Murfreesboro so we could make our semi-annual Sam's Club trip for toilet paper and paper towels!

Saturday started with haircuts for the guys, watching the Rally to Restore Sanity coverage then later on trick-or-treating. Michael and my niece Lucy went around the neighborhood together. Michael got into it more this year. He kept wanted to go to more houses. After three streets, he was ready to get home and see what he had gotten. Right now, I am watching the front door for little spooks. I don't like it when Halloween is on Sunday. I have not seen as many trick-or-treaters. I am wondering if they will come tomorrow. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

Tomorrow is church, getting groceries and more clothes washing and then Monday will be here again.

Hope all of you are enjoying this beautiful Halloween weekend!

P.S. Our bathroom is done and looks great!

Breathing

I just wanted to post that life is pretty good! The last post was a bit dark and depressing. My life is not all depression and sadness. There are lots of good times, too. I am thankful that Michael is having a GREAT school year, that our bathroom is almost finished and that I have a pretty good life. Things can always be so much worse!

Autism Is...

Autism is...Frustrating -I asked God once to help me to have patience. Boy, be careful what you pray for! That was years before Michael was born and have I learned patience. Autism is frustrating because there is NOTHING I can do! Nothing! The only thing I have figured out to do is raise money for research and awareness. Yes, I try to help with homework and plan for his future but there is no treatment, no medicine, no cause so I can't fight this. Of course, if it is frustrating for me, I cannot imagine how it feels to Michael. That brings me to another frustration; what is this child thinking?! Frustrating? How about driving through town with a three year old and he starts screaming, "Go that way!" at the top of his lungs? "That way" is a random street that has nothing that he would know. I have gotten back to my house many times in tears and with my hands shaking because I had no clue what he wanted. (I still don't because he can't tell me!) Wait four years to hear "Mama." Beg God on four Mother's Days for your child to say Mama and go to sleep each of those nights in a depression. Autism is frustrating.


Autism is...Fear - When Michael was six, he loved to run outside and swing on the swing set. That was great but he would pick a time I was in the bathroom and run outside. One time, I was in the bathroom, came out and he was gone. I ran around the house and saw him walking up the road. I asked him where he had been and he said, "Talk to the policeman." I looked down the street and saw a meter-reader. Can you imagine what could have happened? That night, we went to Wal-Mart and got alarms for all of the outside doors so we could hear if he slipped out. There is also fear in other areas. I am afraid to let him use a public bathroom by himself. When he was little, it is common for little boys to go in the women's bathroom. Now, he is almost as tall as me so he has to go in the men's bathroom. He cannot tell me much so I have to trust that there are no weirdos in there touching him. I fear for his future. My big depression hit when Michael was six. It hit me that I could never die. Who would take care of him when his dad and I died? Would I be able to find a facility to take him and care for him? Autism is fear.


Autism is...Hope - Now, this did not come overnight! This one took prayers from myself and my church family. I had no hope for many years but God has helped me to see that He has a plan for Michael. (I know this sounds weird to some of you and that it just sounds like empty words. I assure you that I mean this with all my heart and I am not crazy!) A few years ago, a co-worker told me about a school for autistic teenagers in Middle Tennessee. This school trains them in job and life skills. I also read about Vanderbilt University's college program for autistic young adults. Wow! Now, I had something to hang on to and I have hung on for my life! I started to see that he could have a job and could possibly live independently. Hope is truly a wonderful thing! Autism is hope.


Autism is....Lonely - My wonderful husband and I have had one night alone in eleven years and I am not kidding. My phone doesn't ring with friends wanting to go out to dinner or shopping. We do not get together with couples and let Michael play with their children. We go NOWHERE. It is difficult to go out in public when Michael's behavior is so unpredictable. If he is having a good day, we celebrate. Now, I will say that as he has gotten older, the meltdowns have lessened. When he was little, oh my goodness. Yes, I will say it: It was embarrassing. I know that sounds mean; "How can you say your child is embarrassing?" Because I'm embarrassed when he is making weird noises or flying his little cutouts around like an airplane and people are staring and wondering who the freaky people are. I'm sorry! I am only human. Autism is lonely.


Autism is...Love - Have a good relationship with your spouse? Having an autistic child will test that. My husband and I love each other now more that ever and I am grateful for that. There have been rough patches with this,though, because men and women react differently to the diagnosis. I knew something was wrong with Michael before my husband did and we have not talked about autism much since the diagnosis. That has been hard for me but that is how each of us cope. My husband is Michael's advocate and reads everything he can about autism but we just don't talk about it. Love is also shown from Michael. He is a very loving child to us and some of his teachers. I love my Michael smiles and hugs! Love is also shown through friends who have stood beside us through this. We have three friends who have always accepted Michael for who he is and just treat him like any other kid and that means everything to us. Autism is love.

Autism is...My Life - This is the way my life will be forever. I will have good and bad days. There will be challenges and cheers. I will fight until my last breath for my child and I will hope and pray for research to give us a cause and perhaps some treatments to make Michael's life better. Why me? Why not?! This is just the card I have been dealt so I will play it. Autism is my life.

The Bathroom Business

Yes, we have a bathroom problem! One cracked tile has turned into a bathroom renovation. Several weeks ago, my husband noticed a cracked tile on the bathroom floor. He didn't think too much about it until another one cracked. He started looking and found a hole. Unfortunately, the hole got bigger. We called in a coworker of mine to look at it and he found a much bigger hole underneath. Oh no! Since our house was built in the 60's and needs some updating anyway, we decided that since we had to put in a new floor, we might as well go for it and put in a new tub and new toilet then we decided, hey, why not put in a new backing for the tub and change out the sink and, what the heck, we'll put in new lighting over the mirror to replace the irritating florescent lighting we have now. So, today, we spent time at Lowes picking out all of this stuff to replace a broken floor tile! I think we will like the changes but I just hate that part of our fall break will be spent on that. Oh, well. It will be worth it in the long run. I will let you know how it goes.

Life Could Be A Whole Lot Worse!

What a great week! We have been enjoying homecoming at school and I love seeing the kids dress up for all of the days. We had camo/tie dye day, "tacky" day (dress tacky), decade day ( I chose the 90's with an original concert t-shirt from 1993 and my old Converse high-top shoes.) and today ended the week with red, white or blue. I love seeing the spirit of the kids and I like participating, too. I also had a great week with my students. It is so great to see kids come alive when you are teaching! We were all so engaged in the lesson and were learning so much from each other. It was just great!

This weekend, we are celebrating three birthdays: my sweet niece will be three, my sister will be older(!) and Michael will be eleven. I just cannot believe it! I about cried a little while ago when I hugged him goodnight. He is almost as tall as I am! We are having a small party but as long as Michael gets presents, he is happy. I will try and post more party details soon.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I hope you all can enjoy this gorgeous weather.

Adventure in the Big City!

What a week! I have had some interesting adventures. Have you ever read the story of the City Mouse and the County Mouse? Well, I was the country mouse in the big city this week! I was in Nashville Monday through Wednesday at a conference. This was a big deal for me for several reasons. First, I was excited about several of the sessions at the conference and second, I was very nervous about leaving Michael. I have only been away from him two nights since his birth almost eleven years ago and I was afraid it would affect his school work. Everything turned out great, though. I think I need to start at the beginning!

I have known about this convention since June but waited until August to get a hotel. I wanted to see how Michael was adjusting to school before I committed to spending the night away from him. If I needed to, I would have driven to Nashville every day. After school started and he was doing so well, I decided to stay in Nashville since the sessions would run so late into the afternoon. The problem was that most of the hotels were booked so I went with a good old Best Western that was close enough to the convention center that I could walk. This turned out to be a huge mistake! The first day of the conference was good except the driving into downtown in the morning. (How do people do that every day?!) Anyway, in the afternoon, it is time to leave the convention and check into my hotel. I just about died! First, those blasted downtown streets and their one-way signs! I went around the hotel three times before I figured out how to get into it! Then, there was no self parking so I get to deal with valet parking for the first time. (See! Country mouse!) I walk into the lobby and figure out that this hotel is OLD. That is no big deal but when I see the old elevator and my room, my heart sinks. How will I stay here for two nights? I decide to be a trooper and make the most of it. My good friends from school save me for the night and take me to Green Hills to eat at the Cheesecake Factory and then I do some shopping in Davis Kidd bookstore and wander around the mall. Around 9, we head back to our hotels. (They are staying at a nice one, by the way!) I get settled and into my pajamas when it occurs to me that my hotel door has no barrier to the outside. The hotel is older and all of the doors face outside. I am not usually a scared person but I'm sort of freaking out by the thought of it. (Too much watching Nashville news I guess!) At midnight, I slowly relax and snuggle into my sheets and I smell something. Great! What is that smell? Do I want to know? I finally get to sleep sometime after 1 am. I wake one other time in the night when a door slams and am up for good at 4 am. Yep, three hours of sleep! I surf the Internet and watch TV and make a plan to go next door to the Sheraton where some friends from the conference are staying. At 6:30 am I am dressed, packed and standing in the lobby checking out! I go over to the Sheraton and find out they do have a room and about cry with happiness! My friends and I go to the conference and have a wonderful day. We walk back to the Sheraton and after I check in, I haul all of my stuff into a large room with the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on! I open the curtains and there is a beautiful view of the Nashville skyline. Awwww! I get my stuff settled, call my sister who lives in Nashville and drive over to see her new condo and head out to eat with her and my niece at Charley's. We have a great night and I head back to the hotel for some much needed sleep. The next day, I attend the final session and head back home to see my two guys. Whew!

It was an interesting experience for this country girl. I am glad for the opportunity to attend the convention and I am grateful to have a supportive husband who said to go for it. As for this weekend, this country girl is staying close to home!

Quiet Times

We are enjoying a quiet Saturday. Michael and I loved having Fair Day away from school. The fair had its ups and downs this year. The up was when my niece Lucy won the 30-36 months division of the baby show! She did great! The down was our 30 minutes at the fair with Michael. He did the bungee jump and went through the fun house and was done with rides. The rest of our time was spent trying to explain why we were not going to try and win one of the huge stuffed characters at the dart throwing game. The guy working the game was kind enough to tell us that a) no, we could not buy it outright and b) it would take 16 popped balloons to win the big prize. At $5 for three darts, it would have been insane to try but Michael just could not understand why we didn't play. He is satisfied now because I came home and ordered a smaller version on Ebay. I just hate trying to get things through his head sometimes! I know it is not the autism; all kids think they can win the big prize. We are finally getting through his head that the claw machines at Wal-Mart are a rip-off. Oh, well. At least I did get a fair cheeseburger! The funnel cake will have to wait for next year, I guess.
Everyone enjoy the rest of your weekend. For us, fall break is just around the corner! Yea!

We Walked The Walk!

Under a gorgeous sky, we gathered with thousands of others Saturday to fight for our children with autism. It was held at Bicenntenial Mall in Nashville.

Michael had a hard time and he went to the car after a little while. It was just too loud and too much stimulation. The rest of us walked, danced and laughed and just enjoyed the day. We raised $3,046! Isn't that incredible?! I am just so humbled and grateful to everyone who supported us. We more than doubled what we made last year and it goes to education and most importantly research to find out what is causing this nightmare. The statistics are now 1 in 110 children and 1 in 70 boys will develop autism. That is too many. We will walk next year and the next until we find a cause and more treatments to help our kids.

If you want to see more pictures, I have lots on my Facebook page. If you want to see them, just add me as a friend. (No, I am not begging for friends! I am just not putting lots of pictures of my husband, son and family for everyone in the world to see. At least on Facebook, I can pretty much control who sees them-I hope!)
Anyway, we are thankful that the rain held off and lots of money was raised. I will rest a few months and then we will get Team M&M into money-making form again!

Ready To Get Wet

This weekend is the autism walk in Nashville and there is a 60% chance of rain. We might be swimming instead of walking! The walk is at Bicentennial Mall this year. I have never been there so I am not sure what to expect. I am a little nervous because it is not fenced in. The last two years, it has been at the Nashville Speedway and our kids were safely fenced in. (The problem for me is that running is a common characteristic of autism. Michael is over that stage, thank goodness, but I remember how I was constantly on edge every time we went out in public. He was nine years old before I did not hold onto him going into Walmart.) I hope we have a good day. The rain is not big deal. What is the big deal about getting wet if we are raising money and awareness to help our children?! I do have to say that I am so proud of Team M&M. We have doubled what we raised last year thanks to some generous folks who have big hearts. If I can, I will post some pictures after we get back from the walk. Keep you fingers crossed that we have a break until the walk is over!

Yea! Labor Day Weekend!

Oh, my goodness! I don't think I have been so glad to see a long weekend! This has been such a stressful week. Let's see.

Stress #1- Last Sunday, I got a phone call at 4:15 am from my sister. "Can you take me to the hospital?" Me: "Yes, what's wrong?" My sister: "My chest is hurting." Me: PANIC! I run into the bathroom, brush my teeth and throw on some clothes and decide I can comb my hair with my fingers on the way! I get to her house and she tells me she can drive herself if I can stay with my two year old niece. Yeah, right! I pick up my niece, still asleep and get her in the car then get my sister in the car and off we go to the ER. On the way, I call my mom and step-dad and tell them to meet us at the hospital to get my niece. Long story short, she had pneumonia. She was in the hospital overnight and is feeling better but she is still moving slow.

Stress #2 is school. I love teaching and I have good students but let's just say the work never ends! I was behind all week grading my papers and new requirements are constantly being added by the state. It just seemed like I was behind all week.

Stress #3 is Michael. He is doing wonderful in school. We couldn't be more proud of him. I am thrilled BUT I am going through my old case of doubts and slight depression. I want him to have a great life and be happy. I want him to be able to have a job and live on his own and it scares me to think that may not happen. Yes, it is a spiral I go down. I was talking to another mom who has an autistic child and she was saying pretty much the same thing. I told her that I was sorry she was feeling that way but I was relieved that I wasn't alone in feeling scared for the future. I just keep reminding myself that God has a plan. That keeps me going!

So, on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, I have FINALLY been able to relax, much to my husband's relief. I have not been very pleasant to live with this week! I have lots to be thankful for and I know I am blessed. One thing I am grateful for at this particular moment is the wonderful smell of hamburgers cooking on the grill and my only job is to eat them! Yum!

I hope all of you have a great weekend!

Whew! What a crazy two weeks!

I think it has been too long since I posted but since school has started, I have been a little distracted. Here are some things that have been happening since the last post:

*Michael is still doing great in school. He has made 100 on two spelling tests and is working hard on his other subjects. My life is so much easier when he goes to school in a good mood!

*We are counting down to the walk. Team M&M has $1580.81. We are 7th in the state right now. Yea, team!

*I am enjoying the cooler weather. I want to start walking around the neighborhood again. It has been just too hot to walk in the afternoon.

*I am thinking about going to Gatlinburg this fall. Yes, we have not been in over ten years! I cannot imagine how the traffic is now because it was awful then! I need to start looking at cabins. Any suggestions appreciated!

*I have been feeling very grateful for family and friends lately. I think we take people for granted sometimes. I know I do.

Well, that was a random post! I will write something of a little more substance as soon as I get settled a little more into school. We have the fair and birthdays coming soon so I should have lots to write. Take care!

Team M&M Is Moving On Up!

Team M&M has $1,195.81 and more should be added any day now! Yea team! I am proud of our team. Right now, we have the 7th highest amount in the state of Tennessee! What I love about helping Autism Speaks is quite a bit of the money stays right here in Tennessee. I know that Vanderbilt just received a big grant. Another thing I like is the push for awareness.
As for the actual walk, the first one we attended was really hard for me. Right before the opening ceremony, I looked around and saw thousands of people and just started bawling. Why are all of these children affected? How wonderful that our children had thousands to come out and support them. I was just overwhelmed. The second year was much easier. The walks are nice because our children are "normal" on that day. Everybody understands when children start flapping their arms, making sounds or having a meltdown. We just look at each other and smile and it is so great that they get it! This will be our third walk and what a difference three years have made. Michael is doing so well in school. We are so proud. Yes, he is not where his "normal" or "typical" peers are but he is working toward it. There is hope and that is why we walk. We want every one of these parents to have hope for their children and we want our children to have a happy life.
The walk is September 11, 2010 in Nashville. I will keep you posted on Team M&M's progress.

Quick Update

I wanted to give a quick update on my last two posts. First, Michael had a great first day of school! He seems to love his teachers and is getting up, ready to start the day. (There was a time I had to drag him out the door to school so this is great!) My start has been good but hectic. There just doesn't seem to be enough time at school when I need it but that is routine for back-to-school time.

The second thing I wanted to update is the health scare I had. The vitamin E and cutting down on caffeine seems to be working. The place is already smaller. Yea! I will write a longer post later but I wanted to write something positive before the whining starts as the school year progresses!

More coming soon.

Time For School!

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Wow! We have had a good summer and I promised a friend to not start looking for a snow day for at least a few months! I wonder if students realize how nervous teachers are standing in front of a classroom of students? The first day is always a little scary because I don't know most of these kids and it makes it really hard when you have three Cody's and two Cindy's in a class AND you have to learn everyone's name. Now, multiply that by five. Yep, I have five classes with anywhere from 22 to 30 students. That's a lot of names to learn! They act offended when I can't tell them their name on the second day. Sorry! There are over 100 of you and 1 of me! I hope it is a good day tomorrow for me and my students.

As for Mr. Michael, he will be in the 5th grade. That just seems impossible! He has a new regular teacher, a new resource teacher and a new assistant. Whew! That's a lot of changes for my autistic child so I hope he has a great day tomorrow. At least he is not doing the "no school" whine that he has done in the past. He went along really well for registration and seemed to like everyone. I will let you know how I first day goes.

Slight Health Scare

I tend to avoid talking about my health. Who wants to hear it?! But I decided to share this with you. A month ago, my left arm brushed against my left breast and it hurt. I touched my breast and and felt a pretty big place, what I will call a mass. (When I say pretty big, I am saying the length of my finger and as wide as two fingers.) It didn't hurt much. I would say that sore is the word. I was lucky because I was already scheduled for my annual mammogram and ob/gyn visit at Murfreesboro Medical Clinic. I told the mammogram tech and she did the mammogram then I was called in for an ultrasound. I was told I would get the results "either today or later." I about screamed! I went upstairs to my wonderful ob/gyn and she called the radiologist and he said everything looked fine. She said, "Let me see what I think." She felt the place and confided that she had a similar place and was seeing a surgeon to get a second opinion. She wanted me to go. She told me she thought it was benign and probably a cyst but we'd just make sure. On Monday, I went to the surgeon and she did an ultrasound and felt the place. She said it was fibrocystic and that I should reduce my caffeine and start taking vitamin E. I will see her again in two months.
Why am I sharing my personal business? Because I wanted to share my disgust with myself that I have not been doing self-exams and we all should be doing that! I wanted to share what my ob/gyn and surgeon told me. Both women said that cancer usually doesn't hurt. Now, that is scary! By the time we feel something, it could be too late. Let's promise ourselves to start checking, to get annual mammograms and to know our bodies. I an thankful that all I need to do is drink less Diet Pepsi and take a pill. We all have known ladies who were not as fortunate. Thank you, Lord, for my good report!

Nice Weekend

This was such a nice, relaxing weekend. We went to Murfreesboro Saturday to try and find Michael some shorts. He is built so funny and it's hard to find clothes. Also, he is at the very end of the kid's sizes so I am having to get some adult clothes. (Now that I think about it, he is about as tall as me!) We went to Target and had success in the men's department for shorts and kids department for shirts. We next went to Sam's Club so I could get my huge pile of Kleenex's for school. (School kids can go through lots of Kleenex in a year!) After I got through looking at some clothes, my guys surprised me with a present. Thanks guys! Last, we went to The Outback where I tried my new favorite thing: Alice Springs Chicken Quesadilla. Oh, me! It is so good! It is a big deal that the three of us can go out to eat. For a long time, Michael just couldn't sit that long but he is more patient and he is content to watch his portable DVD player and wait for his food. I'll need to starve for a few days but it was worth it!
Sunday was nice, too. I love our church family and the song lyrics Sunday were so beautiful and that just puts me in a thankful mood.
I hope all of you had a nice weekend, too.

Getting Ready

I attended in-service Tuesday and Wednesday and it was so nice to see everyone. We had two good days and got a lot accomplished but it is hard to get back in the swing of things. Isn't that awful?! I have been used to sleeping "late." (Late means past 5:30 but never past 7:30!) I do love staying in my pajamas and hanging out with Michael. I wonder if he will be ready for school to start. We never know until the day it starts. I hope he has a good year like last year. His new teacher seems really nice and his resource teacher is such a sweet lady. Positive thoughts help, right? :)
So, let's see what we have accomplished:
-Michael's school supplies bought
-posters put up in my room
-new grammar books unpacked and put on shelves
-table tops cleared and desk cleared
-lesson plans made
I feel a little better. I have not been totally worthless!
I think it will be a good year. We still have a few days of vacation left to enjoy. Yea!

Heavy Heart

As a teacher, you are able to get to know your students pretty well. It is up to the student, however, because some just won't let you in. I was able to get to know three young men in the last several years when I taught them in class. Two of the boys I had twice for different classes. My heart is heavy because all three boys have passed away in recent months. I know none of us are promised tomorrow but it hurts my heart that young men under 25 years of age are gone. Their life was just beginning. So, this is in honor of Robby C. and Colby T. who passed away in automobile accidents and Jeremy B. who died while fighting for our county. Boys, you made me laugh and you made me frustrated at times! All of you were very macho yet always had a twinkle in your eyes. You were loyal to your friends and they love and miss you. It was my honor and privilege to be your teacher.

Catching Up

Let's try this again and see where it goes! Thank you Paige, Ge-Anne and Jane T. for the encouragement.

Let's see. Where were we?! The last time I posted was in April 2010. Since it is July, I guess I need to tell you what's been happening. Not too much really. We finished school and Michael had the best year ever! He had two fabulous teachers and just loved going to school. He will be in 5th grade this year. I just can't believe it! Where does the time go?! I had a great group of seniors and I will miss them. I have seniors again this year so there will never be a dull moment, I'm sure.
We went on vacation in June to St. George Island, Florida again and had a great time. We were worried about the oil but we saw none. We did see a Coast Guard helicopter, men on ATV's from the DEP (Department of Environmental Protection) and a few National Guard members looking for oil but they remained pretty low key. We also saw boom being place in Apalachicola Bay. It is so sad about the coast! I am glad the oil stayed away from us, though.
Here are a few pictures from the trip:

We had pretty weather for two days then Hurricane Alex whipped up clouds, rain and stormy surf for several days. Oh well! It was still a great trip. This is the view from our beach house.


See, it rained and rained! The birds didn't seem to mind!


On St. George Island, it is mandatory lights out at 9 pm so the turtles are not disturbed while they are laying eggs. We saw this turtle nest on the second morning. Volunteers and scientists block off the area so they are not bothered. (It is a HUGE deal if you bother the turtles!) I read last week that the turtle eggs are being moved by Fedex to another area to get ahead of any oil. Cool!

This is the lighthouse you see right when you cross that ridiculously long five-mile bridge to get to the island. The original one was destroyed in a hurricane, I believe, so this one was build in its place. I love this picture!

Michael in his favorite place: underwater! We had a private pool with the beach house and it was wonderful.

Other than vacation, Michael and I have been staying in our pajamas way too late in the morning, making yellow cake with chocolate icing, surfing the Internet and just being worthless! I love summer! I have been working on lesson plans and will have to put up some posters in my room soon but I do love being a teacher for so many reasons and one of them is being able to spend time with my child.

Anyway, this is my update! I will try to keep it updated. Thanks again for the encouragement, ladies!

Back...Sort Of

I quit posting to this blog in January but my husband encouraged me not to delete it. I think he was right since the name of the blog could guide other parents of autistic kids my way. I am posting because I wanted to share something. My blog entries were a calendar year: January 2009-January 2010. I wanted to save the entries somehow but wasn't sure how. I searched the internet and came up with this-a book!

This is the front...

...and the back
It is 88 pages long. I didn't realize how much I had posted! I was really pleased with how it turned out. You can go to Blog2Print if you are interested. I am still reading blogs and I am pretty sure my few readers haven't checked here in quite some time but it will be here if they find me again.

I may start posting again. I am thinking about it. Obviously, if I do you will see it here!

Until next time...